God planned the strength and beauty of youth to be physical. But the strength and beauty of age is spiritual. We gradually lose the strength and beauty that is temporary so we’ll be sure to concentrate on the strength and beauty that is forever. –Robertson McQuilkin

Today I am grateful for pharmacologists, because getting old sucks.

Over the last ten plus years that I have been working out of my home, I let myself go, just a bit. My work days mainly consisted of sitting for hours in an office chair in front of a computer screen, while either typing, or reaching into a bag of whatever the snack of the hour was on my desk. To say my muscles have atrophied, well, let me just put it this way. At one point, Stephen Hawking’s muscles were more developed than mine, and he’s a quadraplegic.

This week I went from going to bed at four or five in the morning, to going to work at 4:30 am, and then actually becoming engaged in physical activity for over eight hours. This activity includes bending, reaching, standing, walking, and the most laborious of activities of them all, thinking.

It is because of the wonders of medicine, I have been able to successfully make it through my first week without my body collapsing within itself like some distant supernova. I take melatonin to go to bed, to wake up I consume a liquid supplement that serves two purposes, not only does it guarantee energy for five hours, but it helps to make me alert so I can remember how many shots of mocha syrup goes into that guys “Venti, 1/2 caf, Hazelnut, non-fat, 2 splenda, extra hot, latte.”

Then there is the pain that shoots directly from the concrete floor, through the one inch rubber mats, through the padded soles in my slip resistant restaurant shoes, past the extra Dr. Scholls cusion, up my legs and back, then deep into my brain, that I am able to somewhat mask by using the naproxen I was able to score from my local legal drug dealer.

This is why today, I am grateful for pharmacologists. Because without the advances in pharmacology that they have made throughout the years, I would feel much older than I do now.

Something tells me, tomorrow, I’ll be grateful for days off.

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Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.  ~Elbert Hubbard

First I must apologize for not keeping up with my posting duties for the past couple of days.  I just began my new job, and my first shift has been from 4:30 am, to 1:00 pm, so my morning really begins at 3:30 am, which is why today I am grateful for alarm clocks.

I am enjoying my new job thus far, each new day presents me with a new opportunity to not only improve upon my own state of mind, therefore creating a more abundant reality, but it also gives me an opportunity to have an impact upon a total stranger.  I now get to practice my random acts of kindness quite a few times each day.

I come across so many people distressed with how their days are going, the old me would have loved to join in, even if only jokingly, to describe how horrible my day was as well.  I now take the time to remind them that whatever is going on, if it hasn’t already, it will soon pass.   It doesn’t sound like much, but believe me when I tell you, now that I look back, and think about all my friends who kept reminding me of that very same thing, I am glad they all took the time to do so.  For some people it may sink in immediately, others like me, it may take months, but it will eventually, and that is all that matters.

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According to some people, I spend way too much time blogging. They contacted Walter White telling him that I am a slacker, Walter even discussed this on his blog, then recorded a special message just for me:

They can’t stop me, I’ll blog day in and day out, until there is no breath left in this body!

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You’re thought about more often than you probably can guess, and thoughts of you just naturally bring smiles of happiness. Now, that it’s your birthday, may each and every warm thought, bring a wish for all the best in life, and all your favorite things. — Unknown

Today I am grateful for the last 15 years.  My niece Hanna turns 16 today, and this is something I wrote for her.

Just fifteen years ago, as I was passing through Fort Worth, something stole my heart, that something was the most beautiful baby I had ever encountered.  One day the heavens opened up, and a little soul got loose, and blessed us with you.  You were such an amazing baby to be around, there was so much energy that emanated from you, so much joy that radiated from your eyes.  I knew there was no way I could leave and miss a single moment of your life.

You are growing up and are now a young woman.  I may not be your father, but you will always be my little girl.  Thinking back over the years, I wanted to share with you some of my most important memories of you.  Some of them happy, some of them sad.

Yes, my saddest memories are of you growing up, even if just a little bit, but only because we have always known we’d have such a short time with you.  You have been raring to go since day one.  It was our job to prepare you for the world and all it has to offer, knowing that some day you will go out and find your own way, with the hope that you will eventually return to us safely.  As you turn sixteen, and that day gets closer, I pray daily we did our job.  You have always been ready for the world, but I don’t know if the world is ready for you.

I have always felt honored that I could play such a huge part in your life, and I feel lucky to have known that little girl, and I am proud, of the fine young lady she is turning out to be.

Love,

Your Uncle Cary 

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When you drink the water, remember the spring — Chinese Proverb 

Every morning when I get up, one of the first things I do is write my gratitoodz post, most days its very easy, but there are some days where it is a bit tougher, because I have allowed outside influences to infiltrate my thoughts, and it is easy to become distracted.

So to get the ball rolling, I start with trying to find at least one thing I am grateful for.  I usually begin with just being grateful for waking up to yet another opportunity to FILL IN THE BLANK.  I find that one thing, and it eventually leads to another, and then another, until I happen to feel a bit inspired, and the thoughts begin to flow.

I have spoken about the past, and the days where I wouldn’t allow myself to find that one thing.  It was easier in my mind, to be angry, to be bitter, rather than focusing on why I should be happy.  I would allow one negative thought to affect my entire day, and the way I reacted to whatever that day brought, good, or bad.  But I can’t be that person anymore, I am finding out it was way too much work.

This morning, I am having to find that one thing, so I can begin the process of working past whatever distraction is clouding my brain, in order to continue to live the abundant life I live.

So the one thing I am grateful for today, is being grateful for at least one thing.

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What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.–Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I am grateful for check marks that denote which goals, or tasks have been completed.

Sometimes in the daily bustle that is life, I tend to forget to acknowledge the gains I have made towards goals.  For example, I may weigh myself every morning, but when I don’t see any movement on the scale, I don’t give myself credit for still making good choices when it comes to eating.  Then all of a sudden I move down in either shirt or pant size, and I think to myself.  “Where did the weight go?”

These seemingly little events are the check marks I’m talking about.  They represent another task on my grand to-do list, that gets to be written off as completed.  Although I am not yet exactly where I want to be, I have finished that one small goal, that will lead me to finish the ultimate goal.

When you take on life as a whole, it sure can be overwhelming, at least for me.  But when I break it down into the little 24 hour blocks that make up the day, then break those down into their 60 minute counterparts, and deal with only those, then things seem to be much easier.   Life still happens, but only one minute at a time.

I have received so many check marks here lately, so I know I am on the right path, heading in the right direction, things I have needed to accomplish in my life for so long are now being addressed.

So this morning, I am grateful for the check marks in life that remind me of all the tasks I have completed, that each add up to one more step, on that thousand step journey I am on.

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Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever. ~David Letterman

Today’s gratitude will be short and sweet because it is my first day at my new job, so this morning, I am definitely grateful for coffee, and for a couple of reasons. For one, I am up hours before I normally wake up, and number two, it is because of others desire for coffee, I will have a job.

This morning I start my job with Starbucks, and honestly I am quite excited. At times I feel a bit silly about being so excited about a minimum wage job, but this job means so much more to me than just earning a paycheck. Today is the day that I overcome a lot of different personality traits that have been holding me back, for so long.

A combination of low self-esteem, and ego, has kept me from being able to grow as a person, for almost two years now. But coming to terms with the fact that I am not so special, I am not that wondrous snowflake my mama said I was, will enable me to push past self entitlement, and finally accept the abundance I  deserve.

So far 2008 has been a wonderful year for me, and I expect much greater things to happen, and I am grateful for the support of family and friends who have undertaken this journey with me. The man I am today, is due in large part because they were the friends they were.

Today, I am grateful for coffee, because it provides for me a new job, and the ability to function, and do more before 9 a.m., than my poker playing pals will do all day.

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30 Days to 10 New Habits

As a part of my whole restructuring of my life, I have decided to compartmentalize some goals in order that they be more achievable, rather than have the impression of being overwhelming.

I am currently working on an in depth goal workbook, that I will soon publish on my website, this workbook will cover all of my short term, and long term goals. But for now, I want to put into action, a few small goals involving action that I want to turn into habits that I feel will improve upon my quality of life.

There is evidence that suggests it takes 21-28 days to either create new habits, or break old ones, I decided to round up to 30 days. There is also evidence that suggests that the practice of self-regulation has an overflowing effect on other aspects of your life. Groups who were asked to manage their money for a period of time not only showed an increase in the amount they were saving from 8% - 36%, they also showed an increase in study time, and a decrease in cigarette usage. Similar results were experienced in a study focusing on exercise.

I will be starting my new habits today, 01-23-08, and I will be reporting every few days on how my new habits are coming along.

My 10 New Habits:

So there you have it, sounds like I will be pretty busy right? What with all the books I plan on reading, as well as working a full-time job. Well it is definitely worth the extra work. I have been on “vacation” for almost two years now, I have let my life slip by, and it is now time to regain control.

I welcome those who are reading this, friends, family, strangers alike, to challenge me daily when you see me. Ask me how my new 10 habits are going, inspect my appearance, check to see if my car is clean (it isn’t now, but it will be by this afternoon).

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Libraries: The medicine chest of the soul. ~Library at Thebes, inscription over the door

I am grateful for the public library. That is an understatement of gigantic proportions. To this day I remember the very first time I walked into a library, it was the downtown branch of the Fort Worth Public Library System, and I was amazed at how many books there were, and the whole loaning concept just boggled my mind. All those books could be mine, even if for just a short time, and all I had to do was ask, and ask I did.

I was an avid reader as a child, my love affair with books began when a RIF book mobile showed up in the parking lot of the shopping center my mother frequented. RIF, which stood for “reading is fundamental,” was such a great concept. Show up in a colorful bus filled with books and let children take one home for free. By the time I entered elementary school I had my own library of free RIF books, which I eventually passed on to my nieces.

Then there were my adolescent years, when my sister got what I considered a dream job working at the newly built main branch of the Fort Worth Public Library System. This meant that during the summer, while she worked, I would get to hang out in the library all day long under her watchful eye. The library over the years had become my temple, a place to go and worship the written word.

After my weight loss surgery, I found that I was once again able to read and not fall asleep before I finished one single page. Due to my obesity, I had developed sleep apnea, and was constantly exhausted, so anytime I would even sit down and attempt to read a book, my eyes would soon close. But losing over eighty pounds this far, has cured that. I now get a restful five to six hours of sleep each night.

Now that I can read again, I ventured down to the West Sahara branch of the Clark County Library system, and signed myself up for a card, and I have been once again worshiping at my favorite alter, finding inspiration hidden deep within the Dewey decimal system.

So, here it is I present to you, my 2008 book reading challenge. I have set up for myself a goal to read at least 1 book a week for the next year. If you choose to follow along, or are just interested in what I am currently reading, or have planned on reading in the near future, you can do so HERE.

I am grateful for the public library, who, because I only asked, will let me have all the free books I want, even if only for a short time.

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Tomorrow, do thy worst, for I have lived today. — Unknown

I am grateful for the future.

I am a worrier, I have been since I was a child. If I allow myself to, I will lie awake at night for hours thinking about the many possible outcomes of the future. Events, and scenarios will play out in my head even though those things have not happened yet.

It is a bad habit, and one that seems to be getting easier to break day by day. Instead of imposing my thoughts onto what may come, I now just release that to the Universe, and deal with right now.

The past is done, and is only a reminder of lessons learned, the present is here, it is now, it is my current reality. The future is only something to be anticipated, it is not even a promise, whether that future is one second from now, or one year.

But, if I act now, and act efficiently, the future which I can only anticipate, will take care of itself by becoming my current reality.

I sleep much better now that I am grateful for the future.

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