There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. — Doughlas H. Everett

My BFF (best friend forever lolz like zomg this is funner than teh myspace) Jim can for a lack of a better word be a thorn in my side. Well more like the thorn in your heel, the one you can’t quite see but when you run your finger over the area it hurts like the dickens.

But I am grateful for it because some times he’s not just doing it because he gets some kind of sick thrill out of ticking me and his wife Mylene off, he’s actually doing it for a good cause, he’s keeping me in check by reminding me how full of crap I am when complaining about how bad my life was, or if happened to start choking on some lame excuse as to why I haven’t done this or that just yet.

We all need a good friend like that, someone who let’s us know we have a booger hanging from our nose, or toilet tissue stuck to the bottom of our shoe, or reminds us how deep the manure we’re spewing is getting. I’d rather suffer the embarrassment of having him see me in such a vulnerable state knowing that he will never let me live it down, ever, versus a whole room of people now getting to share the same experience even if only for a moment.

We desperately need these reality checks in our lives when you consider what else is going on in the world. While you may have been late to work because there was an accident on the freeway, be grateful you weren’t late to work because you were involved in that same accident.

Here’s an old Van Halen video that kind of puts things into perspective. The interesting thing is that most of the text flashed onto the screen is still true today

RIGHT NOW …

It’s all about a reality check and the reality of it all is I am grateful. Thanks Jim.

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Treat your family like friends and your friends like family.– Proverb

I am grateful for the familiar faces of friends and family.

I had a wonderful day yesterday, and I apologize to the rest of Las Vegas, because now when I drive through the streets the reality I create for myself is one of someone important who is accompanied by a motorcade. Believe me it works, in the last month most days I rarely experience a red light, I have in fact driven using only surface streets from one side of the town to the other non-stop on more than one occasion, and today was no exception.

I live on the southwest side of town and I had a job interview on the northwest at 4:30 pm and a dinner engagement on the southeast side of town at 8:15pm, I needed to hit almost all four corners of the west side over the next four hours and forty-five minutes. I left the house around 3:30 and decided to stop at the library to pick up a book that was on hold for me, I left around 4:00 and the funny thing is I was still fifteen minutes early to the interview.

After the interview I stopped off at Best Buy to kill some time, then headed over to Border’s Bookstore for some coffee and to flirt with Mara the cutie working behind the counter when I remembered I needed to go to Home Depot to pick up a few things for the house.

I didn’t know where the nearest home depot was on this side of town so I called Hanna my niece and using the net she a store that was in the general direction of the restaurant we were to meet at later. On the way there I phoned my buddy Jim and he and I got caught up in a long conversation, so long we continued our talk while I sat in the parking lot even after I arrived at Home Depot. After about ten minutes I decided to go ahead and head on inside and talk to him while I did my shopping. I found what I needed and haggled with a clerk over a trash can lid (another topic for another time) and then was on my way.

I still had some time to kill so I figured I would find out where the restaurant was located so I could give the girls the nearest cross street. I was kind of surprised to find out it was quite a distance from where I had expected it to be. Still I had almost two hours before they would arrive, what was going on with the time?

There wasn’t much to investigate near where we planned on eating so I headed back towards the center of town, when an Office Depot caught my eye. Not to go off on a tangent, but I have serious obsession with office supplies. This grateful post almost began with, “Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me but…” It would then have gone on to describe how I found boxes of ink pens, dry erase boards, and 3 x 5 index cards. Well I just had to go inside and not only did I play around with the lap tops, but I visited their “library” and “read a magazine” while I was in there and then bought some batteries before leaving, I honestly needed the batteries.

Enough! I decided that I was going to the restaurant and would just drink coffee and read my new library book while I waited for the girls, I kid you not when I tell you (all 7 of you now) that when I sat down at my table, I still had over an hour before they would arrive.

This is what happens when I start off my day with being grateful, I expect everything to fall into place the rest of the day and then it does. I asked the waitress if she had ever had such a day, and it saddened me to hear her say, “No, nothing good ever happens to me.” Just a few short weeks ago you would hear me saying the very same thing.

Well the girls arrived on time, and this is where the important part comes in, the familiar faces I was happy to see. I enjoyed my dinner with them *thanks to the kindness of someone special* and it was time to head home, where I happened across another group of girls that are equally important to me.

For a single guy, I have all kinds of wonderful ladies in my life, which makes you understand why I’m so grateful to be me.

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Today, many will break through the barriers of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you? — Steve Maraboli

One thing I am learning is that the shortest path to an abundant life is through an attitude of gratitude. I honestly did not mean to make that sound like something Stuart Smalley would say, but with all it’s simplicity the statement is true.

I am grateful for today because as a creator it is something I can work with, the past is done, and the future, well that will take care of itself if I do a good job of creating my reality today.

I am grateful that I woke up and I wasn’t dead, and I am also grateful that at least one person I know will laugh at that fully understanding I wrote that, that way on purpose.

I am grateful for the new experiences each day brings.

I am grateful for the rewards those new experiences bring.

I am grateful that my heart remembers to continue beating, even though I forgot where I put my keys last night.

I am grateful for the free things Randi finds for us to do EVERY DAY. <begin spam>SaveLV.Com<end spam>

I am grateful for the seemingly brief moments that occur between me and my friends each day that will last me a lifetime.

I am grateful…

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.–Anonymous

I am grateful that I live an abundant life. What makes my life abundant?

I am surrounded by those who love and respect me.

I am healthy.

I am safe.

I have a roof over my head, and what a nice roof it is.

I am well fed.

I enjoy my life, it is never boring.

I love myself.

Just less than a month ago I could point out all that was wrong in my life, and today those things are either all gone, or don’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.

Now my days are joyful and I awake each morning ready to start the new day being grateful for the things I do have, and just knowing deep in my heart that the things I need or want are just around the corner.

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Our ideals resemble the stars, which illuminate the night. No one will ever be able to touch them. But the men who, like the sailors on the ocean, take them for guides, will undoubtedly reach their goal. — Carl Shurz

What is a dream board or Vision Board?

I know my friends who have visited this site see my dream board in the top right corner are wondering what it is I’m doing.

In it’s most simplistic definition, a dream board, or vision board is a a visual image or interpretation of the dreams and visions you have for your life.

The idea behind a dream board is to “dream it, create it, become it.” In order to help you visualize these dreams you have for yourself you take some cork board, or poster board and find pictures of different things that represent what you want for your life, or in your life.

These pictures can represent material things such as a house, a new car, an IPOD. They can represent goals you have in your life in your career, your education. But they need to be defined, they need to be specific. Don’t just say you want a new car, name the year, make and model. I have found the exact car I want right now and put a picture of that on my dream board.

You can find the pictures on the net and print them out, or in a magazine and cut them out. Then using paste, tape or thumbtacks attach the pictures to your dream board and place it in a very conspicuous place that you will see every morning when you wake up, and every night before you go to bed.

I have created my dream board as a wallpaper / desktop background for my computer. This way I see my dream board all throughout the day as I work on my computer.

Why should you have a dream board?

Once again it is a visual reminder of the dreams you have for yourself.

Present day humans pretend to be busy species unlike our cavemen counterparts. We are no longer preoccupied with just trying to survive the day by hunting and gathering the necessary items in order to achieve such a primal goal. We can achieve survival each day in just a matter of minutes, the rest of the day is filled with activities we feel are necessary, but in reality only serve to keep us from getting bored.

It is during these times of activities that we tend to forget what we truly feel is important in order to achieve some sort of “happiness.” The dream board is there to remind you what it is you want out of this short visit we get to the big blue marble. It also serves as a reminder how our dreams can and do change, as we change. So be sure to update your dream board as you achieve those goals and desires.

What is on my dream board?

This is what I am creating in my reality:

• A healthy relationship with a caring lady friend.
• A degree from college
• A career in comedy
• Travel destinations
  • Europe
  • A trip with my family to Disneyland
  • China
  • Southeast Asia - Thailand, Vietnam
• A brand new black 2008 Chrysler 300
• $100,000.00 by 12/31/2008
• A new home

As I said I will be updating this board as I reach old goals and set new ones.  Just a reminder, thoughts become things.

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I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it , people like me. — Stuart Smalley

Today I am grateful for me. I personally don’t give myself enough credit, and often wonder what it is I bring to the table in my relationship with friends, girlfriends and family. More often than not when I am analyzing my self worth and I’m needing a mirror to reflect in, I find that mirror in the eyes of others.

When discussing this with Sanjay yesterday he brought up a very good point, he mentioned that was a fine place to start initially when for whatever reason we can’t seem to find those great qualities within ourselves that others do see.

To put it all out there, I at times suffer from a lack of confidence and have often wondered to myself why anyone would choose to associate themselves with me, and why out of millions in this city alone, that they would call me of all people to spend their time with.

What has helped me to get through those times is to take a good hard look at my friends. I have said it before and I will say it again, I have some amazing friends, and within each and everyone one of those amazing friends are qualities that I admire, and apparently there are qualities within me that they all admire. If such amazing people choose to be with me, then I must be an amazing person too.

Like Sanjay said, that’s a good start. Now its time to grow up and start finding those qualities within myself so when someone in life doesn’t choose to be with me for whatever reason, I don’t allow my self worth to be diminished.

I have been down that road before, in particular with weight loss not just once but a couple of times. There was a young lady I fell madly in love with and to prove my love I decided to lose weight, at that time I was just a measly twenty to twenty-five pounds overweight. She never asked me to lose the weight, in fact she never mentioned it. But I decided that my health wasn’t reason enough to drop some pounds, but more importantly her love was.

I started watching everything I ate and exercising, in less than six months I was within five pounds of my ideal weight and I looked great. But guess what? Within another six months she left me anyway, and needless to say because I found my self worth in her eyes, I put the weight back on and then some in even less time.

No more, I’m breaking that mirror today and it starts off with me being grateful for me and the amazing qualities I have that make me a wonderful person.

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Let a person radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. — James Allen

I’m sure it is abundantly clear by all six readers of my blog that I am on a spiritual journey, while on this journey I recently joined a forum full of like minded people and the question one poster posed was, “What have you manifested lately?”

The path I have taken has lead me to the study of The Law of Attraction. I have made mention of it in previous posts, but have not quite explained it to my vast audience.

The Law of Attraction in its most simplest definition is “like attracts like.” A bit more detailed definition would be the one I pulled from Wikipedia:

individuals experience physical and mental manifestations corresponding to their predominant thoughts, feelings, words, and actions; and that they thereby have the ability to control the reality of their lives through thought alone. The principle is based on the concept that a person’s thoughts (conscious and unconscious), emotions, beliefs and actions attract corresponding positive or negative experiences. This process has been described as “harmonious vibrations of the law of attraction”, or “you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your experience.”

To me the law of attraction is the power of positive thinking on steroids, and my response to the question was “the most important thing I have manifested for myself here lately is happiness.” Oh yeah, and a brand new 21″ flat screen monitor.

I have manifested much more than a flat screen monitor here lately, but I wish to touch on the monitor for a bit because I feel there are some important lessons for me to acknowledge with it.

This story actually begins before my recent “born again” experience. I was playing poker online, and every day I would sit down at my desk and look at my bulky old monitor and think how it would be nice to have a flat screen that would not only free up some room on my desk, but would also allow me to play more tables at a time.

I looked at the ads in the paper, I did some research online and at that time I knew it was out of my price range so I didn’t continue to pursue it. Now here’s the important thing, even though it was out of my price range, I don’t ever recall me saying to myself “I can’t afford it.” I do recall though avoiding the temptation to go out and spend “bill money” on what I deemed an unnecessary expense, but certainly a desired object.

So my life continued as normal. Every time I entered my room, or tried to clean my desk I would see that monitor and just imagine how nice it would be to have a flat screen there instead.

Although I was “visualizing” a new monitor, this wasn’t due to some belief that I now have that “thoughts become things,” but was more or less for a better word just fantasizing.

During this period I was a member of an instructional site that discussed poker. They were celebrating their anniversary and decided to give away some prizes. As I sat there reading the contest page, which was nothing but a drawing with every member’s name included, I noticed there were some very nice prizes. I expressed my hope that I would win, and if I did it would be something useful like a new monitor, or a great Christmas gift for my nieces like a digital camera when something hit me.

I can’t quite explain what it was, but suddenly I just knew I was going to win something. I didn’t know what, but I know as well as I know that my name is Cary Darling that I had already won, it was just destined to happen.

A few weeks went by and I honestly forgot about the contest when I opened up my email one day and right there in the subject line was “congratulations.” No one had to tell me what it said, I knew I had won, and I knew that it would be the big prize of the day. What I did learn from the email was that it was the monitor, something I had desired and now it had manifested itself in my life.

There will be those who will refuse to believe that you can visualize something and it just show up on your doorstep. I for one believe all things that will be manifested in your life will require some action on your part. But I also believe that in some cases all the action that is required of you is just asking, believing, and receiving, because once you believe it is possible, then that opens you up to the source, the energy, the ether, whatever it is in the universe that feeds us the ideas to make these things happen.

My roommate is a great example of someone living the law of attraction. We all joke that she has a lucky horseshoe surgically planted in her posterior, but to her credit this is a woman who lives an abundant life, and mainly because when she walks out the door she holds no ill will, she possesses no negative thoughts, and she just knows that good things will come to her, and they of course do.

To sum it all up, I am grateful for little reminders that I receive through out the day that keep my head on straight, that remind me that I am on the right path, that good things have come to me in the past, and will continue to come to me in the future.

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OK time to be honest, I didn’t get my car. But here’s the funny thing. I spend night after night looking at pictures of this car, if you look just to the right on my dream board you will see this car but in black. I also lie in bed every night visualizing myself driving this car, taking it out on the town to show friends and family. I even visualize each and every street I take, I see myself making the turns, hitting the turn signal, changing the stations on the radio, I can feel the steering wheel in my hands. I even imagine how good it smells.

Well come Monday there will be a Silver 2007 Chrysler 300 sitting in our garage, it is my roommate’s car, but it is strange how things like this happen, I sit here and visualize this car every night and there will be one here that I will see every day until I get mine.

A friend of mine Randi was even kidding me tonight saying, “Its almost here Cary.” It is almost here, I can feel it, I am grateful that my car will be here before the year is up and I will be posting pictures of me standing next to it and sitting in it, and in both pictures I’ll be grinning from ear to ear.

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There is a boundary to men’s passions when they act from feelings; but none when they are under the influence of imagination.– Edmund Burke

It is amazing how life can sometimes get in the way of living if we allow it to. We can end up on completely different paths than we started on, going the opposite direction even.

One reason I lost my way is because I lost my passion. Sure I had goals in life, the same goals most of us have. I wanted a successful career or business, one that provided a nice safe home for me and my family. But thinking back on it all, these were not my goals, the goals I had set for almost two decades served the happiness of others, while neglecting mine.

Please understand, the journey we are on is not one that is to only serve some narcissistic, materialistic, spoiled inner child. But what I am learning is that it is easier to love when you love yourself, it is easier to make others happy when you yourself are happy, and it is easier to share abundance, when you live an abundant life.

So how can I have an abundant life? Well when I look to others for examples, one thing I see in common is that their abundance came from their success in pursuing something that they were passionate about. They had a burning desire to achieve something in their lives and while when thinking out their goals they may not have included abundance, once the goal was achieved that was their reward.

I have had my passion since I was a child, I will speak more on it at a later date, but for now I’m going to let that burning desire rekindle and light a fire under my feet, and drive me down that path to abundance.

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I have been working the internet for almost a decade now, wow I didn’t realize it had been that long. I started out like most people do tinkering around with free hosted websites on geocities, selling things on eBay, etc.

I started blogging over two years ago and have bought a bunch of domains, I developed some, did nothing with the others and eventually sold them all off at a profit. My biggest sale to date would have to be coedsearch.com. I paid $9.95 for it and sold it for $1,000.00, not too bad for something that was undeveloped.

During my poker period my blogging efforts focused mainly on my poker education, even then during that time I did not try to maximize either mine or my sites’ potential. Things have changed, I quit poker and found that the same income streams that were available to me when I started this all back in 1998 have not completely dried up, but quite honestly its a bit tougher to make a buck working the internet.

Well I am back to blogging, and even that has changed and quite dramatically I might add too. Long gone are the days I could buy a domain and have a site up and running within a day, start throwing out some posts, toss my url into pingomatic and watch as I would get visitors immediately and traffic would continue to grow.

There are millions of new sites and blogs going up each day and now even a blog that I spend some quality time on trying to develop gets lost in the cacophony that is the internet. There are ways to make yourself seen, and as I began to delve back into blogging I just about lost my mind trying to figure it all out. I went from tip site to tip site trying to follow all of the advice that was given, there was a laundry list of things to do so long that I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Then I came across Garry’s site GarryConn.Com. Garry has written on his blog some pretty straightforward tips to help build and monetize your traffic.

I haven’t been able to take every piece of advice and put it into motion just yet. But I am still thankful that there are people like Garry who give back to the community instead of holding all this great advice close to the vest.

Thank you Garry for sharing your knowledge and experience with the rest of the blogging community.

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