If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it. ~Albert Einstein

Today I am grateful for one of my favorite television shows, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch.

Each day I do my best to not allow negative thoughts into my mind, in fact most days I don’t even watch the news. It is not because I am avoiding “reality,” it is just not my reality.

Most shows, including the news, tend to focus on drama, topics that are salacious, and fear. You can’t turn on afternoon television without hearing your local newscaster warning you about “the hidden dangers of FILL IN THE BLANK.” We’ve all seen the commercials. You’re sitting there watching Oprah, and today they warn you, “Your kitchen counters could be killing your children, more at 6 pm.” You look at the clock and it is only 3:30 and your kids are in the kitchen!

So I choose not to allow this garbage into my life. What few shows I do watch tend to be uplifting, and have a positive message, and if they have the ability to feed my intellect, as well as my soul, then it’s a plus. The Big Idea does this for me and more.

Now I know Donny Deutsch is not everyone’s cup of tea, he is a bit manic, but I like him, this guy speaks from experience as a self-made millionaire himself. I also like that his show is about inspiring people, and sharing ideas, on how to not only find an idea, but to run with it, and make it the BIG idea.

I DVR the show every night, then I sit down when I can find the time, and I soak up every bit of information, and inspiration I can. One of my favorite segments of the show is when he brings on guest speakers to talk about their “millionaire secrets.” I am currently taking these informative, and inspirational tidbits, and I am printing them out on small cards to carry with me through out the day, to help keep a positive mindset.

Here are a few of the secrets that have been shared on The Big Idea:

• Take the reins, do not live by somebody else’s rules. I am going to control the direction of my life, personally and professionally. — Lynnette Khalfani-Cox The Money Coach

• Create a passion! When you have passion, you have drive, and when you have drive, you have enthusiasm. When you have passion you have the natural ability to take action, and when you take action, you will always get results. — Gary Coxe

• Is your “why” big enough? If you have a big enough “why” the “what” will be easy, it is not about the money, it is about who you become along the way that will drive you to do the things that are hard. — John Assaraf

• You gotta get scared. Don’t set realistic goals, get scared by setting unrealistic goals, goals that make you feel uncomfortable, that cause you to feel doubt and fear. When you do that, you force your brain to move to a higher order of thinking. — John Assaraf

These are just a few of the many pieces of advice that have been doled out on the show.

Another aspect of the show that I love, is watching ordinary people come on and share their extraordinary ideas, to discuss whether or not they have The Big Idea. As I have said, the show is inspirational, and uplifting. There isn’t an Omorosa being fired, no one is having to take any paternity tests only to find out neither of the three guys on the stage is the young girl’s baby’s daddy, and no one gets kicked off an island.

If it sounds like I have a man crush on Donnie Deutsch, I guess I do. I am grateful that there are shows like this on the air, I am grateful for The Big Idea, and Donnie Deutsch.

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It demands great spiritual resilience not to hate the hater whose foot is on your neck, and an even greater miracle of perception and charity not to teach your child to hate. — James Arthur Baldwin

Each day presents me new challenges to fall back into some of my old ways, this is why I am grateful for resiliency.

My new path is taking me down a road that I haven’t traveled much on in quite some time, in fact I have often avoided this road, constantly on the look out for what seemed like far more interesting and exciting roads.  The road I am talking about, is the road to personal responsibility.

As someone who is not only codependent, but is also an enabler, personal responsibility is a phrase that was not part of my vocabulary.  As I continue to learn, and try to put into practice being responsible for my own happiness, I get tested daily on how deeply I believe this to be true.

Whether it is customers, fellow employees, or even friends or family, someone every day, seems to want to pull me into the reality they are creating for themselves.  I see these realities, and I am sorry to say, it is something I do not wish to participate in.  I am busy creating my own reality, and my reality is a life of gratitude, and abundance.

Every morning as I venture out into the world, I begin my daily mantra.  I begin to meditate, visualize, I even speak out loud the things I want to manifest in my life for that day.  Throughout the day, I actively avoid participating in gossip and bitching and moaning sessions, I do my best when brought into such conversations to point out what people should be grateful for, instead of finding what they are lacking in, tell God, the universe, or Chuck E. Cheese if that’s who you believe in, what you are thankful for.

But I don’t always succeed.  I am only human, and I am working hard against some serious hard coded ways of thinking that I have been developing over forty years of my life.   The point of all this is that I just dust my shoes off, get back up and try again.  I no longer allow little failures in my life to create such huge emotional set backs.  I get back to dealing with the present, and my current reality, and find my gratitude.

And this is why I am grateful for resiliency.  Another word that was not part of my vocabulary, until only recently.

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Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun. — Colleen C. Barrett

Today I am grateful for “hump day,” Wednesday, the middle of the week, and the only reason I know that today is Wednesday, is because my life has a sense of order now that I am working again.

It is nice to have a schedule, it is nice to have a purpose, a reason if you will, to go to bed, to wake up, and be somewhere on time.  Without a schedule, I seem to sort of get lost in time, I don’t know what day it is, I am constantly having to remind myself of the date.  I soon take that time for granted, procrastination becomes my best friend, I have plenty of time to do it tomorrow, so tomorrow it will be done.  Or maybe the day after.

Now time is a very important commodity.  My day seems to pass rather quickly.  I spend over eight hours at work, and then there comes the recovery time. I am not as physically capable of certain things as I used to be, and as soon as I hit home, I’m like a linebacker on Sunday afternoon, I go through my own physical therapy routine in order to prepare myself for the next day, and I need it.  After work I’m in pain from my head to my toes, and I am pretty much wiped out when I get home, but it feels great to be tired.  Then there’s the actual eight hours of sleep I get now,  before you realize it, you don’t have much time left for anything else

I have actual weekends now, something to look forward to, two whole days where I get to choose how to spend my time.  I am halfway there, today is hump day, the middle of the week, and for that I am grateful.

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Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.  ~G.B. Stern

Yes, I am grateful for YOU.

Do you see what I did there?  Everyone who now reads this blog will each think that I am talking specifically about them, when no one can tell who I am really talking about.  I covered all the bases.  But seriously, I am grateful for all of you who take time out of your busy schedules each day and read this blog.

I get such wonderful feedback all the time on how people really enjoy the things that I am writing about.  I blog for a variety of reasons, but the main reason I blog is to keep a public record of the things that I say, and the goals that I set in order to keep myself in check.  This forces me to stand by the words that I say, and in essence to “walk the walk,” and not just “talk the talk.”

For example in my post titled 30 Days to 10 new habits, I mentioned the fact that I pick at my nails, and would for the next 30 days try to break this habit.  I caught a friend of mine trying to secretly check out my fingernails the other night, just checking to see if I have been following through on my goal.  Luckily I have been, in fact since I wrote that post, I have started to pick at my nails a few times, but caught myself and stopped immediately.

But I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want people reading my blog for other reasons too.  Deep down, we all want to belong, we all want to be appreciated, and I get a lot of pleasure out of hearing how my blog not only entertains people, but inspires them as well.  This in turn inspires me and helps give me strength to continue on this path of living abundantly.

I am finding that it is a much easier path when you begin each day being grateful, but it is also very easy to fall back into line with old ways of thinking.  I have had over forty years of bad programming that I am trying to undo, and I am grateful that I have all of you to help keep me going strong.

Thank you.

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Hang in there — Unknown

Today I am grateful…

There are so many things I am grateful for, but each day I usually just focus on one when writing my blog. But today, I am just grateful to be grateful.

Working with the public I get to see a lot of different personalities throughout the day, and it is amazing how many people are unhappy for no other reason than because they choose to be. I had three interesting experiences yesterday I would like to touch on here.

Man #1:

Our Starbucks is inside a Von’s grocery store, and we have a tiny little lobby of five tables our customers get to use. At one point, I delivered a cup of coffee to a customer who was waiting on her order, and in order to get to her I had to pass by a gentleman who decided he would sit in such a way that he blocked the pathway. As I made my way past him both times I politely said, “excuse me.”

My attempt at good manners didn’t go unpunished. This man got so angry with me, he was prepared to complain to my manager, and this anger of his lasted until he left the store where as he passed by our counter he stopped and looked at me, then waved his arms as if to say, “you’re just not worth it.”

Woman #1:

A woman was purchasing a cup of coffee and the register was acting up, I quickly apologized for taking up so much of her time and her response stunned me. She said to me, “If this is the worst thing that happens to me today I will be happy, because I have to go and visit my mother.”

Woman #2:

During a super bowl get together, an acquaintance of mine asked me to hand her a few of the snacks. As a former restaurant manager, and new Starbucks employee, I decided to go the sanitary food handlers route, but this set off a series of complaints where nothing I did was right. I wasn’t moving quick enough, I didn’t get the right amount of snacks, it was either too little, or too much. This lady couldn’t just say “thank you,” and let it go.

Now for my responses to each of these people.

Man #1, I couldn’t help but laugh. It was funny that someone could get so angry over another person being polite. I was so amazed that life could be so hard for one man sitting in a Starbucks in one of the nicest parts of town, that a simple “excuse me,” would be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

Woman #2. I couldn’t help but think about my own mother who took her own life in 2003. Did my mother ever get on my nerves? Sure, as I am certain I got on her nerves at times as well. But there isn’t anything I would do, including giving up my own life, to have just one more moment with her even if that moment was only an argument.

Woman #3, I am happy to say I did not let her slide. My response at first was just, “be grateful or be quiet.” But as she continued to complain, and attempted to make me feel bad because I pointed out her rudeness I did step it up a notch and told her, “either say thank you or shut up.”

As I walk through my day with a new outlook on life, I told a friend that I am like a reformed smoker who can now smell the negativity a mile away. I experience these people and I think to myself, “Oh my God, did I smell like that?” I regretfully admit, that I must have.

These three people, I gave them just a few brief moments of my time, and that was all. But what amazes me, is that they, like I used to, were clearly making choices to be miserable in life. Not only that, they were also making choices to share this misery with others. If they were going to feel bad, they felt it was their duty to spread that disease to others. While they may be experiencing a tough time in their lives, that is the current reality that they have created for themselves, however, it is not mine.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not perfect, negative thoughts still try to make their way into my head, I have had a lot of practice with these thought patterns, and I have to work daily on retraining myself.

But I recognize the need to do this, and knowing this, I sense the changes in my emotions, and I say to myself, “I don’t like how I’m feeling,” and I stop. I immediately take a new path, I extricate myself from the present situation, and do whatever it is I need to do in order to get back to a grateful spirit. If you happened to see me at just the right time yesterday, and were paying attention, then you might have caught me having to do just that. If not, then I am grateful that I didn’t impose my own negativity upon you.

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We need to teach the next generation of children from Day One that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

As I sit here early this morning, knowing I made a choice to go into work so someone else could have a day off, I am grateful for choices.

Everyday I choose to be grateful, I choose to live a life of abundance, but I don’t always manifest what it is I desire.   The reason is I still allow fear and doubt to creep in and affect the choices I make, which has affected my progress when it comes to personal growth, and achieving certain goals.

At times, when heading on a path towards certain goals, I have allowed fear and doubt to turn me the opposite direction.  I begin with a renewed faith that this time I will achieve that goal, and I start out strong.  Then I start to question the viability of such a goal, if it is not only possible, but worth it.  Back up plans start to creep in, as well as other much safer “goals,” which divert what little focus I have, and pretty soon it is reflected in my choices.

I know exactly when this is happening, it is at that point where I can no longer define my goals or my desires, I have essentially confused myself, and I am no longer capable of making the correct choices when they are presented to me.

However, as they say, the first step is in admitting you have a problem.  I now recognize this problem, so I am back to yet another choice.  I can choose to ignore this problem, or address it full on, so that I can achieve full abundance.

The scary part is, there is no one else to blame, ever again.  My life, my present, my current reality, is no one’s responsibility but my own.  But, that is also the most exciting part.  I am the creator of my destiny, the captain of my own ship, I get to set the course, I get to make choices, and for that I am truly grateful.

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One moment of patience may ward off great disaster.  One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.  ~Chinese Proverb

This year, my mind, body, and spirit together are like one of those reality home make over shows, I guess you could call it, “This Old Cary.”  I am starting from scratch, even going so far as to rip out the foundation, and rebuilding from the bottom up.  This is why I am grateful for patience.

I can really be one of the most impatient people you have ever met in your life, but as I said I’m really working hard at fixing some things, and what has been really helping me, is trying to apply one simple lesson I’ve learned in the past months.  Live in the present.

I apologize if I am repeating myself.  But as a fan of baseball, another thing I have learned from watching my favorite team, is that sometimes you have to just go back to the basics.  They bare repeating, because if there are any fundamental flaws in your game, go back to the basics, get those right, and you will generally fix them.

To live in the present, it sounds so simple, and most people will tell you, that’s what they are doing.  If they are anything like I was, they aren’t.  They are existing in the present, but they’re living in the past, and worrying about the future, and with such a divided consciousness you can’t help but make things worse.

To tie this all in together.  Go back to the basics, just live in the present.  To live in the present is to focus on life one moment at a time.  But we must act efficiently, be grateful for that moment, be the best that we can be in that moment.  How?  Well the past has given us so many lessons, we just need to apply them.  Once we get that whole living in the present thing down, we don’t worry so much about past mistakes, and the future will take care of itself.

Its kind of like making some chocolate chip cookies.  Learning from the past would be to make the choice of dropping something from the recipe that made it a bit too salty, but acting efficiently in the present would be to follow that new recipe exactly, and if we do, the future will take care of itself with delicious tasting chocolate cookies, which will then become our current reality, our new present moment.

Living this way now has given me more patience.  I still have much to learn, and I still have to work on applying this simple concept each and every day.  I will discuss at a later date on how this benefits me in the work place, for now I will just continue to be grateful.

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We live longer than our forefathers; but we suffer more from a thousand artificial anxieties and cares. They fatigued only the muscles, we exhaust the finer strength of the nerves. ~Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

As predicted, today I am grateful for a day off.

To me, my mind, body, and spirit like a well draw from some inner spring. But every now and then, it still needs to be primed, so that it can continue to provide necessary life saving refreshment. To prime my physical and metaphysical pump, I need some relaxation.

My relaxation can come in many forms. It may be just meditating, reading a book, listening to music, watching a movie, or spending time with friends or family. But sometimes, it is more important to just do nothing, to just be.

I tend to lose focus on what’s really important in life, it is easy for me to get lost in work. In the past, I tended to focus so much on work, not in oder to just have success, but it allowed me to ignore the problems I needed to work on, and ignore that deep void I could feel growing in my soul.

It is important for me now to make sure I balance out my physical, and spiritual life, so that I may continue to grow, and reap the abundance I deserve. Living a one dimensional life, even if it is only spiritual, is not living abundantly. In order to be wealthy, I have to be wealthy in all things financial, spiritual, and health.

So today, I will find some time, just for myself, because it is my day off, and for that I am grateful.

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