To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation — Eckhart Tolle

There is no real past, there is no real future, there is only NOW.  Oh but Cary, what about yesterday?  That was just 24 hours of NOW moments.  Wherever you were at 9:25 a.m yesterday, that was NOW, at 1:18, again NOW, and as you read this sentence, NOW, and even tomorrow morning when you get up, that is another NOW moment.

I am in the process of reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, Awakening to your Life’s Purpose, and it is a fantastic book.  I had always heard people say things like, “Just be.”  But honestly I never quite understood, why or even how, but this book is teaching me all of that.

We live in a very busy world, our minds racing a million miles a second, or so it seems, and we are always either sweating the past, or worrying about the future, not even paying attention to the moment we are experiencing right then and there.  In fact, as I sat down and read my book yesterday, the thoughts of this post kept coming to me.  There I was in the midst of another beautiful day, the sun beating down on my body, the wind blowing through my hair, and all I wanted to do was move onto the next moment, which was well over twelve hours away.

We have all done this, I know I am not the only one.  Imagine all the discussions you have had in your head, the ones where the next time you saw so and so, you were going to tell them this, or that.  At times those discussions even take on a very negative tone, because you plan on telling that person off.  Did that moment even happen?  If you are like me, then probably not.  By the time I finally got to that moment, I either chickened out, or the situation rectified itself and there was nothing to even worry about to begin with.

Or I’ll be driving down the road, and my mind begins to wander about either a past issue, or once again an impending future one.  It is either something that has already happened, or something we think is going to happen, and the next thing I know, I’m accidentally cutting someone off.  I just put my life, and the life of others in jeopardy because I am not actually there in the now, I’m experiencing a week ago, again, or planning tomorrow, neither of which has any use to me right here and now.

I have been moving through this world, acting unconsciously, completely unaware, but no more.  I have little glimpses into these kinds of lessons, I even posted about something similar months ago.  But, just like any other good habit we develop, we need to constantly work on it, so as not to allow old bad habits to creep back in.  I started to slip back into some of my old ways of jumping in the car, and taking off to either work, or dinner with friends, careening through the streets at a hectic pace.  When I get like this, I immediately just start to feel my breath go in and out of my lungs, it brings me back to the now, it reminds me that I am alive, and need to be present.

Everything for me now has become sort of a meditation, even when it comes to my eating.  Now when I eat, unless when I am out with friends.  I turn off the t.v., the radio, I don’t even read a book, but I pay as much attention as I can to what it is I am doing.  For example when I eat my cereal in the morning I pay attention to every detail.  I think about how the food tastes, its texture, is it hot or cold, how it feels when I chew it, how it feels as it goes down my throat, and more importantly, how does my body feel, or react to it.  I am no longer eating, I am meditating.  I work on keeping all the thoughts about how the day may or may  not go out of my head, and focus on feeling the muscles in my jaw as I chew.  I am doing all my best to “just be.”

Has this helped?  It sure has.  I honestly can’t eat as much as I could, even just a few days ago.  Even with the lap-band, there are times where I can eat more than I should, but not when I am eating consciously.  My normal breakfast of kashi cereal with soy milk is now cut in half.  One of my favorite lunches of tuna salad with crackers that weighs a total of 3.5 oz, it is almost too much.  I now eat until my body tells me “Enough!”  My body is now satisfied, when my mind was thinking it wasn’t.

I am grateful for now, because now is all I have, all I ever had, and all I ever will have.

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Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be? ~Author Unknown

Okay, stick with me, it’s a bumpy but funny ride.

We attract what we think about most, and for some reason, a few weeks back, my thoughts started to gravitate towards money flowing away from me, and guess what happened. $40 I sent through the mail got lost, and then Geico Insurance decided to bill me for my insurance 10 days early, and on top of that, not only did my insurance go up from $136, to $154 per month, but they decided to bill me for $182.

Here’s the interesting thing. Normally at billing time I just call up and do a pay by check over the phone, but for some reason I decided I would do the responsible thing, and have them just automatically bill me each month. I never keep any money in that account, until bill time. So there was no reason for me to even check it until the 4th of April, when bills would start coming in.

However, for some reason, after talking to my dad about bouncing checks, a day later I checked my account, and yep that bill, that got pushed through way too early, bounced, causing not only a $34 NSF fee, but a $5.00 fee for each day the account was overdrawn. I immediately phoned Geico, and was told that if I would just fax my bank statement into them, they would take care of everything, so I did, but was hit with another $34 NSF fee the very next day because they tried to push it through again. So now I’m out over $80.

Geico received my fax, and I waited for them to go over it, and finally was able to discuss it with them last night. Immediately it was apparent that they were not going to pay for the over draft fees, the operator started by arguing points that was clearly wrong, and every time I proved them wrong, or created any doubt, they moved onto a new point that they just then discovered that once again proved it was my responsibility. This ended with them saying that I had agreed on line to pay this bill that was due on the 4th of April, on the 21st of March, but would from then on fall on the 4th of each month, which is laughable.

Now to the point. Did I attract this? Yes. My constant worrying about money going out made that happen exactly, money as soon as it entered my life, was going out. Now there was no reason for me to bounce a check, but yet within a few days of discussing this with my dad that is exactly what I did.

But the story gets better. While I’m on the phone with Geico, I hit up Progressive insurance on line and get a quote. Here is where the blessing comes in, because I was able to not only get liability through them, but add on uninsured motorist for a total of $114 a month, which is $40 less a month than Geico.

I told the operator that this was quite silly. Here I was, being lazy, and never seeing if I could get a better deal elsewhere, and this is after almost six years of doing business with Geico. My ego was clearly getting in the way, and I was going to argue about $80 in overdraft fees, and try to keep my policy with them. I was amazed that they did not even value me as a customer, well at least not for $80. So, I then thanked her for inspiring me to check elsewhere, and find a better deal.

So yeah, in a round about way, I am grateful for Geico, because of them, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching FROM Geico.

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I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. ~John Muir

Thoughts become things. In the beginning there was nothing, only a void, and with a single thought the Universe was created. So many religious people talk about or “reward,” or heaven if you will, the place we all go to, to leave this “awful” existence when we die. We’ve all seen the bumper sticker, “Life’s a bitch, and then you die.”

Today I am grateful for my life on this planet. Heaven, if there truly is one, according to scripture is an amazing place, however, if God did create the Universe, and ultimately our planet, then this must be a very special place too. There is a reason he wanted us to experience this, and I refuse to believe that somehow it was only designed as some sort of test, to see if we are deserving of our next plane of existence.

I think if there is truly sin, the only sin that would offend a God, any God(s), would be to accept such a beautiful gift, and not take advantage of every possibility or opportunity it has to offer.

Our lives were not meant to be lead in quiet desperation, but in joy, in abundance of all things spiritual, financial, mental, and physical.

Stop and not only should you smell the roses, but just stare at them for a little bit today, be still and know that there is God.

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I truly believe that we can overcome any hurdle that lies before us and create the life we want to live. I have seen it happen time and time again. — Gillian Anderson

If you stop every now and then, and truly pay attention to the things you are saying you will be surprised at how limiting those things can be. The problem with those things, is they represent your deep seeded thoughts about you, and your own condition.

I mentioned in a past post about how I would always break even in life, something finally hit me the other day, when I realized that there was another limiting thought that would pass my lips on occasion, and that thought is, “I will survive.” It amazed me, when I started to really pay attention to those words, how often that thought or similar ones, like, “I will be okay,” entered my brain.

I’m sure you’re sitting there thinking, “What’s wrong with surviving?” The problem with surviving, is its just like breaking even, you’re only experiencing just enough of what it is you need in order to get by. So now, every time I am a bit short of cash, or experiencing a bit of pain and discomfort at work, during any opportunity I saw fit to say one of those limiting statements, I now replace them with a statement of victory. I now say, “I will overcome, I am an overcomer.”

I no longer wish to just surviver, or be fine, or just get by. I now overcome all hardships in my life, I am victorious, and for that I am grateful.

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Friends are family you choose for yourself. ~Author Unknown

I have many fans in my life, and I am fans of many, but one of my biggest supporters, one that just seems to get me, especially when it comes to my humor, we got to share in her blessing yesterday, her Birthday.

In The Science of Getting Rich, and many other success books, they talk about forming your “mastermind group.” This is a group of people who you can trust when it comes to seeking advice, and derive some inspiration from. Someone who uplifts you, someone who brings some substance to your life in a positive way. These can be your business associates, your spiritual leaders, or even your friends.

I attracted the experiences I am living through, this current reality. But the Universe, God, The Source, brought all these people into my life, and for a reason. I choose to keep them in my life, because they add so much value to this whole experience. Through each and everyone I learn valuable lessons daily.

Well today I am grateful for someone I respectfully call a mentor, she is part of my mastermind group, and has been an inspiration, and an example on how to live an abundant, grateful life, even through such adversity. I am grateful for someone I am proud to call friend, Jan Fisher.

I have many supporters in my life, but not many who would come straight out of surgery, one of the most painful of their lives, just so they could watch me put on a silly power point celebration at a Christmas Party. But Jan did that.

She has told me, and told me often that not many people make her laugh out loud, but I am included in that elite group that do. Whether she realizes it or not, those laughs are moments I not only live for, but will cherish for many years, well at least until House Season four comes out on DVD.

I have not told her this, but this morning I will share with the world a little secret. Not too many people make me laugh either, but I have always said, and will say it again, that the best show in Vegas is the Jan and Linda show. Jan is someone who makes ME laugh out loud. If you have not had the pleasure of hearing Jan’s telling of her’s and Linda’s many adventures as they travel this world, then you are missing out on something special.

We all love you Jan, and we are all so grateful for having you in our lives. We appreciate what you do for this group, and we thank you for being such an inspiration.

I want to personally thank you, for being there, and reaching out, and being part of the team that helped to save my life. I may not have even been there yesterday, if you hadn’t looked inside me, and found something that not even I could see, and fought so hard to draw it out of me. Thank you.

With love from your biggest fan,

Cary

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photo credit: karl_eschenbach

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. — Matthew (ch. VII, v. 28-29)

To say that I live a blessed, abundant life, is a massive understatement. I live in a beautiful home, with a once in a lifetime kind of friend. This home is in a beautiful gated community in Las Vegas, where we get to enjoy clean and quiet streets, and some cozy walking paths. Recently, the backyard landscaping was redone, and what was once a nice backyard, is now an amazingly comfortable quiet spot for relaxing, meditating, or entertaining friends.

Yesterday was my day off, and I decided that I would spend part of my day outside reading my new book, Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. This book is part of Oprah’s book club, and currently on Oprah.Com they are running an unprecedented event, where each Monday, Oprah, and Eckhart Tolle stream live a worldwide study group centered around this book. Over 700,000 people have joined this on line community so far.

The day was perfect for relaxing and reading, so I grabbed a lawn chair, my book, a cup of coffee, some high lighters and went to “work.” It was a beautiful day, one that reminded me of how often I should be thanking God for, and even if it were all day long, it would clearly not be enough.

I bought the book recently at Sam’s Club. The classes have been going on for nearly 6 weeks now, and even though I wanted to participate immediately, something held me back, I knew that I just wasn’t ready. I kept seeing the book everywhere I went, but never at Sam’s Club. I ventured over to check out the new store that just opened up down the road a bit from the house, and as I always do, I went straight over to the book section, and there it was at the bargain price of $8.72, so I picked up a copy.

Even though I purchased my copy, I still wasn’t quite ready for the book. I don’t know what was holding me back, but something over the last weekend changed within me, I can only describe it as a growth spurt. How big? It doesn’t matter, the book still was the furthest thing from my mind until Monday night when I decided that I would go ahead and start reading it the next morning, and watching the On Demand videos of the previous classes.

The book centers around the ego, and how we as a species tend to identify ourselves. I will not go into much more detail, because if you’re not interested in it, I will only bore you, and if it is for you, you will find it on your own. Eckhart Tolle himself states on page 7 “This book is about you. It will change your state of consciousness, or it will be meaningless.”

One thing the book is trying to teach, is how to just be in the present, how to be still, and just BE. Tolle even quotes the bible, where in the scripture it says, “Be still and know that I am God.” One of the lessons instructs you to just stare at a flower, forget labeling it, forget giving it an identity, or even applying the one you already have for it, and just accept it for its beauty. At that moment, I put down the book and I just stared at the bush across the yard from me. Immediately I felt a surge of energy come over me as I realized that here before me lies this “plant,” that is clothed in the wardrobe of a king, stretching its arms towards the light, knowing that all its needs are met, as long as it just continues to be. I was immediately overwhelmed, and I began to cry, knowing that God has the same love for me.

I am loving my life, and each day that God provides me, and each new opportunities that day brings. I am so grateful to be so wealthy, to have such love and support surrounding me, uplifting me, through my family and friends. I pray that they each all know how much I love and respect them, and I pray that I uplift them as much as they do me.

I am grateful for Spring, and the beautiful days that God provides us as an altar to worship him.

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Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.  ~World Health Organization, 1948

Today you get two quotes for the price of one.  These both stood out for me when I came across them, so I had to share them.

There’s lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven’t the time to enjoy it.  ~Josh Billing

What I keep finding over and over in my learning is that the key to life is balance.  That is the main reason I quit poker, because entire days were spent where I was absorbed in poker.  I played for four to six hours, I studied for another four to six hours, then I talked about it with friends, I watched it on t.v., read books, read magazines, nothing else could penetrate my life if it didn’t involve poker.   It became difficult for me to even find time for friends and family, because I had to do one or more of the things that I had just listed.

There even came a time, earlier this year, when I was getting out of balance again, but this time with my spirituality.  Yes, you can have too much of God, or whomever, or whatever it is you worship.  Every minute of my day became just like poker all over again.  If I wasn’t writing about it, I was studying it by reading something, or watching a program on t.v., or listening to a CD.  So I scaled things back quite a bit.  I went out and got a job, I made sure I was going out with friends, and visiting my family.

I’m sure you’re asking, what does this have to do with weight?  Quite a lot.  Life was meant to be enjoyed, and if we spend every moment agonizing over every detail from how much were spending, to how much time we allocated a certain project, event, or fiends, to what we’re eating, we are clearly not enjoying the blessing that we get when we awake each morning.

Also, when we agonize over those decisions, you have to ask again, what is your dominant thought?  If you’re agonizing over all those little details, then you are afraid you’re spending too much money, you’re afraid there are too many calories in that ice cream.  Your dominant thought is fear, and it is no surprise, because fear rules much of our lives when we allow it to.

However, the problem with that, is when your dominant thought about these things includes fear, then that is the experience you will definitely be getting more of.  If you’re afraid you’re going to gain weight, don’t be surprised when you do.  If you’re afraid you’re going to go broke because you decided to treat your family to a nice dinner instead of five dollar pizzas at Little Caesars, then once again you will go broke, because that is the experience you are attracting by your dominant thoughts.

Now to get onto my perfect weight.  For me, my ideal weight is 155 pounds, that is what I will experience, because I am once again asking, believing, and receiving.

I learned something this last week, and it really struck a chord with me.  Sanjay gave me a copy of The Secret on CD, and it goes into greater detail than the DVD, and he and I discussed how weight, and the Law of Attraction works.  At first I didn’t quite get it, until I got to that part on the CD, and it makes a lot of sense.  We go around saying to ourselves, “I want to lose weight.”  The problem with such a statement is that when you do ask, believe, and receive, that is exactly the experience you will get, losing weight, but over and over.  Why?  Because you are telling the universe that is the experience you want.  The problem is your body and the universe give it to you.  You lose the weight, then you will gain it back, and quite possibly then some, because the universe wants to give you the experience of losing weight AGAIN!

So now, I don’t focus on losing weight.  I focus on my perfect body weight, and for me that is 155 pounds.  Some of the suggestions that are made in the CD are to stop weighing yourself, or write your body weight on a piece of paper and tape that over the scale so that is what you see every morning.  But most of all quit sweating every little detail, find balance in your life.  It is my intention, and I hope it is yours, to be wealthy, spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially, ultimately finding a balance in my life, with all of these things.

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