“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” - Albert Einstein

In the book Today Matters, John Maxwell makes an interesting assessment on how we spend our days. We are either repairing, or preparing. In other words, yesterday is the past, and tomorrow is just a promise. All we really have is today, and today is either spent repairing yesterday, or preparing for tomorrow.

In his book he discusses what he calls the daily dozen, these are twelve decisions he has made over his lifetime, that he feels has helped him to become the successful leader he is today. He doesn’t teach people how to make these decisions, he teaches people how to manage decisions.   Making decisions is the easy thing, it is managing them that is tough.

For example, some of us have decided we want to lose weight, but managing that decision, monitoring our food intake, as well as maintaining some sort of physical regiment is where most of us fail. In a speech he gave at a conference, John tells the story of a man who decides that he will start going to the gym on New Year’s day. As the man approaches the gym in his car, the lot is so full, there is a security officer out front directing traffic, and informing people they must park down the street. The man is now frustrated, because he now has to walk two blocks to the gym, and as he enters the gym, he sees that every machine is full, in fact there is a thirty to forty minute wait for each machine. He has had enough. Angry, he approaches the manager at the front desk, and informs the young man that they need to expand their parking lot, and buy more machines, because they are clearly not meeting their demand. The manager just smiles at the angry man and tells him, “Go home, and come back in about six weeks. By that time, you will not only be able to park in the parking lot, but you could park in the lobby right here. The machines will be empty and there will be no waiting.”

This brings up a very valid point, because it is something we all do, or have done in our lifetimes. We make that New Year’s Resolution, we make that new decision, but in the end, we just don’t manage it.  Or, we do management, but in huge chunks of time, so big that it becomes overwhelming.

Below, I have included his daily dozen. At first glance for some they may not seem that tough, for others the list may be overwhelming. In his book, he suggest that you don’t try to tackle them all at the same time, it took him over thirty years to learn how to manage these twelve decisions, in fact he readily admits on some (in particular health), he still has some issues. His suggestion is, to pick your top two that you’re strongest in, and make yourself even stronger in that area of your life, and then pick just one that you’re weak in, and work on that.

The book is a fantastic read, as is all of his material, and it just makes so much sense. His daily dozen reminds me a bit of the old 12 step philosophy of just one day at a time. Because that is all we have, just today, so I guess we better make it count.

The Daily Dozen

1. Just for today I will choose and display the right attitude.
2. Just for today I will determine and act upon important priorities.
3. Just for today I will know and practice healthy guidelines.
4. Just for today I will practice and develop good thinking.
5. Just for today I will communicate with and care for my family.
6. Just for today I will make and keep proper commitments.
7. Just for today I will earn and properly manage finances.
8. Just for today I will deepen and live out my faith.
9. Just for today I will initiate and invest in solid relationships.
10. Just for today I will plan for and model generosity.
11. Just for today I will embrace and practice good values.
12. Just for today I will seek and experience improvement.

I will manage these decisions, just for today, and someday I will see the compounding results of several days lived well.

So simple, it makes a lot of sense huh? I just thought I would pass something along to my friends, something that has inspired me to help me manage important parts of my life. In fact, just like Mr. Maxwell, I have these printed out onto an index card, that I have laminated, and carry with me in my car, and sometimes I even tape it tot he espresso machine at work, to serve as a reminder that yes, today does matter.

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Posted by Cary Darling | No Comments »

The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart.  ~Julien Green

As I said in my previous post, the journey continues, and as in every journey, there is always the opportunity to get off track.  Here’s the thing.  You may not really know you’re off track, and imagine if you were a ship, and you were to be off on your destination from LA to Japan by just a few degrees.  That’s the difference from hitting Japan, and ending up in one of the poles.  The longer the journey, the further off track those small little tangents can take you if you’re not paying attention.

What got me off track?  Well my thoughts did.  I talk about thoughts being things, and creating your own reality, the Law of Attraction etc.  One thing you can definitely attract really quick, is more thoughts like the ones you currently hold.  Imagine hearing a song early in the morning, it doesn’t even have to be a beautiful song, in fact I would wager that more often than not when this happens it’s the most ridiculous song you can think of like “The wheels on the bus go round and round.”  You hear this song and it gets stuck in your head and you think about it all day long, as the day progresses it enters your consciousness with more and more frequency, you even find yourself humming it while waiting for the coffee to finish brewing in the break room.

What’s my point?  Well I love music, and I have been listening to the Soundtrack for the movie, “Into The Wild,” b Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam fame.  This is an amazing soundtrack, and I have been listening to it probably 2 times a day, and will even hum the songs while at work.  “So what?”  You are probably asking yourself.  Well let me post the lyrics to my favorite song on the CD, the song is titled “Long Nights.”

Have no fear
For when I’m alone
I’ll be better off than I was before

I’ve got this light
I’ll be around to grow
Who I was before
I cannot recall

Long nights allow me to feel…
I’m falling…I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I’m falling
I am falling safely to the ground
Ah…

I’ll take this soul that’s inside me now
Like a brand new friend
I’ll forever know

I’ve got this light
And the will to show
I will always be better than before

Long nights allow me to feel…
I’m falling…I am falling
The lights go out
Let me feel
I’m falling
I am falling safely to the ground

This is an amazing song that helps to sum up the true story, and travels of Christopher McCandless, a young college graduate who left society behind and ventured off into the wilderness of Alaska on a journey to find himself.  It is a very inspirational story, and I suggest you watch the movie if you have not had the chance, or pick up the book.

As I said, this is my favorite song.  I have listened to this song 60+ times in the last couple of months, have sung it over and over in my head as I worked.  Take a look at the first stanza, it speaks of being alone, and being better off than before.  Thoughts become things, and this song was my prevalent thought.  The universe doesn’t know that I don’t want it.  Why not?  You might ask.  Well if I tell you right now to not think about your car, the first thought that will come to your head will more than likely be your car.  So once again this proves how important it is to think of things we do want, think on things we want to experience.   As the weeks progressed, I became antsy, it was time for me to leave, I wanted to leave this all behind and just go, it didn’t matter where, as long as I was “better off than before.”

Work became work, life became hard, I started to attract all kinds of negative responses into my life, but I was conscious enough to come to my senses and realize it and started to work on forcing those thoughts back out of my head and replace them with thoughts of gratitude, and I can see things turning back around again, adn for that I am very grateful.

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Subtitle…”hello is this thing on?!”

  People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.  ~Thomas Szasz, “Personal Conduct,” The Second Sin, 1973

The work continues, I am still in the process of creating who I am and I feel as though I’m getting a bit closer with each step.

That is not to say that I never experience challenges, in fact I just came through a few weeks worth of challenges and I am still breathing.  What is the old saying? “That which doesn’t kill you makes you bitch and cry like a little fancy boy.”

The last couple of weeks, actually much longer than that has been a lesson in growth.  I have asked God, Source, The Universe for so much and believe me when I say I got it, but wasn’t prepared for the way it arrived.  For example I have asked for patience, well a little lesson I learned is that you aren’t just given patience, but instead you are put through experiences that teach you how to be patient.  Did I pass with flying colors?  No, just like in High School, the bumper sticker on my mama’s car reads, “My more consciously aware child beat up your honor student.”

I have asked to become a better leader.  Did the universe bestow upon me the wisdom of Solomon?  No, it once again brought me experiences that forced me to grow in order to become a better leader.   For example, I am not one for confrontation.  As a manager, a leader, or just a mentor to the two nieces I have helped raise, at times I have bit my tongue when I should have taken the opportunity to coach those around me in a manner that would benefit all.  Instead I have chosen to avoid that tough talk, allowing things to get so bad that they either boil over, or I just move onto a less stressful area of my life.

This all stems back from my upbringing.  As a family we always avoided those tough talks, instead we swallowed that one big camel, then choked on the gnats, but in such a way that would make anyone around you think you were insane.  That big issue that needed addressing would be put on the back burner, only to be brought up weeks later when the straw that broke the camels back was squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube and not the end.

Well this week, in order to grow, I finally forced myself to have that tough talk with someone who’s reaction could have escalated into one of those moments where cooler heads would not prevail.  Did I experience fear?  Yes, but I knew in order to get back to a healthy relationship, in order to ease my mind, I had to push through that fear and tackle the issue.  But I prepared myself, mentally and spiritually.  I knew the direction it could head into, and I promised myself I would not go down that path.  In the end, it all worked out exactly the way I wanted it to.  As a friend, a co-worker and a leader I grew, even if it were just an inch.  The lesson learned, pay now or pay later.  The only problem with paying later, it usually comes at the cost of a lot of interest.

The blog has been quiet, but the mind has not.  My learning has continued, I keep myself pretty busy with an ever increasing library from the…well…library.  Here’s a list of some of the books that I have read over the past couple of months.

• Today Matters - by John Maxwell.  (Book & Audio Book) One of the foremost authorities on leadership.  If you want to become a better leader, manager, parent, or even uncle, I suggest you get your hands on every book he ever wrote.  In fact, part of my dream board is to one day own this, the John Maxwell Leadership Library.
• Leadership Gold - by John Maxwell
• 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork - by John Maxwell
• There’s No Such Thing as Business Ethics - by John Maxwell (audio book)
• The Automatic Millionaire - by David Bach
• You’re Broke Because You Want To Be - by Larry Winget
• The Answer - by John Assaraf Honestly the best book I have read that fully explains the Law of Attraction.
• The Success Principles - by Jack Canfield (Book & Audio Book)
• The Success Principles For Teens - by Jack Canfield (read 2x’s) Part of a book project my youngest niece is working on this summer.
• Having It All- by John Assaraf
• Secrets of the Millionaire Mind - T Harv Eker (Audio Book)
• Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
• Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill (Book & Audio Book)

There has been so many others that I have read, or listened to over the last 2-3 months, I have honestly lost count.  I am still grateful for the library, and my health, which now gives me the ability to actually read, and retain what it is I am reading.

The journey continues, tomorrow I will discuss how I got off track for a few weeks, and why.  The thing I am most grateful for right now, at this very moment, is that I can now see when I’m off my path.  I can feel it, and then pull myself back in.  I am not perfect, and in no way do I hope that I ever imply that I am, I am just like anyone else reading this, doing my best to keep my chin up, and my eyes on the prize.

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Posted by Cary Darling | 5 Comments »