Never ruin an apology with an excuse. ~Kimberly Johnson
I am grateful this morning that I can choose not only how I react to life, but how I can affect others’ lives too. Although I am not responsible for other people’s happiness, I am responsible for how I interact with them.
I am learning that thoughts, and words are extremely powerful, so much so, that we have a huge responsibility with how we use them. To speak negative words over someone’s life can cause so much damage, and to speak negative words around them, can bring their spirit down.
I spent the day yesterday taking care of some family issues. There is a spirit that has possessed our family for some time, I call it a curse. I know it did not begin just with my father, it was passed down from someone before him, quite possibly his own father. But we all shared a view, that we called being “realistic.” In other words, we looked at life, and all it had to offer, “realistically.” We didn’t expect much, because we didn’t think it had much to offer. We were often told that we were pessimists, but shrugged it off as being realists. I now know we were wrong.
The view we had of the world, was that, while we claimed we didn’t expect bad to happen, we knew that the world conspired against us to make bad happen, so it was always a possibility, so be prepared. That view of the world has now been passed down to another generation with my nieces. I take full responsibility for the part I played in all of that. I can now see the damage it is causing in their own lives, having this jaded view of the world.
I have been doing what I can to change all of that, and I know that there are people in this world, who look at me, and my new belief system, like a fat guy on a diet. Sure, I’m all excited about it now, and I’m watching what I eat, but deep down, they know I’m going to succumb to the temptation, and start eating all those cookies again. Once you create a certain perception for the world to see, it is hard to overcome that, especially with those closest to you.
My family will be the hardest to convince that I have changed my ways, not because they don’t see the changes, but because they still see me as just Cary. I am JUST their brother, their uncle, their nephew, their cousin, who am I to teach them a better way to live their life, especially when in the past, I had failed so miserably at my own.
Regardless, I owned up to my faults, and I apologized for any and all negative words I had spoken around them, over them, and about them. I apologized for the negative comments I made about the world, for all of the negative comments I spoke about life. I asked them for forgiveness, and that is all I can do. It is up to them now to choose how they wish to live their lives. For me, I honestly am finding this much easier.
Some people may think I’m a fool, but I don’t care, I am happy. If I could have found this much happiness in worshiping a Strawberry Pop Tart, or by squeezing my lucky chunk of dryer lint, I would have done so. Who cares whether the world believes it is real or not, if it is having a positive impact upon your life, that is all that matters. If it benefits you, and lifts you up, as well as others, then that is all that matters.
I am grateful God let me live long enough, to have the opportunity to take care of what I did yesterday. Each day is not just a new work day, it is not just a new school day, or a day off. Each day is an opportunity to take care of the things we need to, in order to prepare ourselves for the next part of the journey.
