photo credit: ReDiCuori

God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them. — Stanley Lindquist

I am grateful for each new lesson I learn.

Yesterday I sat down and wrote out a long post about why I had a bad day at work, after hitting the publish button I had this sinking feeling in my stomach that I just did the wrong thing. I ignored it for a few hours, but then my conscience got the best of me, thank goodness, and I edited out the offending matter.

Basically it was a bitch and moan session detailing about how I had been wronged at work. The words I had typed did nothing to uplift me, or to uplift others, it only served to shine light on my “wound.”

People love to repeat stories about the offenses others commit against them in life. I was having this discussion with my niece and she tried to explain to me that the only reason she did this was to get it out of her system, to talk about it. I told her fine, if you feel you must get it out of your system, you talk to the offending party, then that’s it, move on.

We have all used that excuse. That we’re just trying to get it out of our system, and then we get it out of our system with 9 different people. When in fact what we’re really wanting to do is prove to the rest of the world how we were right, and they were wrong, and point out how badly we were hurt. We are looking for pity, and that is all I was doing yesterday.

Another reason you shouldn’t continue to discuss these so called offenses, is because you give them way too much power over your life. It is has been proven that when you relive these experiences mentally, your body reacts in the exact same manner as it did the first time you experienced that pain. This is why stress kill us. If you think about a situation that made you extremely angry at one point in your life, your heart rate goes up, your blood pressure goes up, all the chemical changes your body experienced during the real situation, is now occurring as you just sit there and think about it. Hate, anger, bitterness, resentment, are truly a poison to the body, and it kills you. Sometimes quickly, but most often times so slowly, that you don’t realize it.

One more reason you shouldn’t discuss these once again, so called offenses, is because when you do, that is your prevalent thought that you are giving power to, and the universe will bring you more of the same. If you want more drama in your life, then keep talking about it, keep rehashing it over and over with your friends, and lo and behold you will find it.

I don’t want more of the same negative experiences in my life, so I am trying to focus on the positive aspects of my job in order to get more of that. Even if I don’t see this occur immediately, I can change my perspective on how I view those things, and find something to be grateful for in them.

That was the lesson I was supposed to learn yesterday, the exact same lesson I was trying to teach my niece, and that is if there is a situation in your life that bothers you, or creates conflict within you, address it, or move on, but don’t relive it, over and over.

I was being tested that day, whether or not I passed the test I don’t know, but I will be prepared for future tests.

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