Subtitle…”hello is this thing on?!”

  People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.  ~Thomas Szasz, “Personal Conduct,” The Second Sin, 1973

The work continues, I am still in the process of creating who I am and I feel as though I’m getting a bit closer with each step.

That is not to say that I never experience challenges, in fact I just came through a few weeks worth of challenges and I am still breathing.  What is the old saying? “That which doesn’t kill you makes you bitch and cry like a little fancy boy.”

The last couple of weeks, actually much longer than that has been a lesson in growth.  I have asked God, Source, The Universe for so much and believe me when I say I got it, but wasn’t prepared for the way it arrived.  For example I have asked for patience, well a little lesson I learned is that you aren’t just given patience, but instead you are put through experiences that teach you how to be patient.  Did I pass with flying colors?  No, just like in High School, the bumper sticker on my mama’s car reads, “My more consciously aware child beat up your honor student.”

I have asked to become a better leader.  Did the universe bestow upon me the wisdom of Solomon?  No, it once again brought me experiences that forced me to grow in order to become a better leader.   For example, I am not one for confrontation.  As a manager, a leader, or just a mentor to the two nieces I have helped raise, at times I have bit my tongue when I should have taken the opportunity to coach those around me in a manner that would benefit all.  Instead I have chosen to avoid that tough talk, allowing things to get so bad that they either boil over, or I just move onto a less stressful area of my life.

This all stems back from my upbringing.  As a family we always avoided those tough talks, instead we swallowed that one big camel, then choked on the gnats, but in such a way that would make anyone around you think you were insane.  That big issue that needed addressing would be put on the back burner, only to be brought up weeks later when the straw that broke the camels back was squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube and not the end.

Well this week, in order to grow, I finally forced myself to have that tough talk with someone who’s reaction could have escalated into one of those moments where cooler heads would not prevail.  Did I experience fear?  Yes, but I knew in order to get back to a healthy relationship, in order to ease my mind, I had to push through that fear and tackle the issue.  But I prepared myself, mentally and spiritually.  I knew the direction it could head into, and I promised myself I would not go down that path.  In the end, it all worked out exactly the way I wanted it to.  As a friend, a co-worker and a leader I grew, even if it were just an inch.  The lesson learned, pay now or pay later.  The only problem with paying later, it usually comes at the cost of a lot of interest.

The blog has been quiet, but the mind has not.  My learning has continued, I keep myself pretty busy with an ever increasing library from the…well…library.  Here’s a list of some of the books that I have read over the past couple of months.

• Today Matters - by John Maxwell.  (Book & Audio Book) One of the foremost authorities on leadership.  If you want to become a better leader, manager, parent, or even uncle, I suggest you get your hands on every book he ever wrote.  In fact, part of my dream board is to one day own this, the John Maxwell Leadership Library.
• Leadership Gold - by John Maxwell
• 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork - by John Maxwell
• There’s No Such Thing as Business Ethics - by John Maxwell (audio book)
• The Automatic Millionaire - by David Bach
• You’re Broke Because You Want To Be - by Larry Winget
• The Answer - by John Assaraf Honestly the best book I have read that fully explains the Law of Attraction.
• The Success Principles - by Jack Canfield (Book & Audio Book)
• The Success Principles For Teens - by Jack Canfield (read 2x’s) Part of a book project my youngest niece is working on this summer.
• Having It All- by John Assaraf
• Secrets of the Millionaire Mind - T Harv Eker (Audio Book)
• Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
• Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill (Book & Audio Book)

There has been so many others that I have read, or listened to over the last 2-3 months, I have honestly lost count.  I am still grateful for the library, and my health, which now gives me the ability to actually read, and retain what it is I am reading.

The journey continues, tomorrow I will discuss how I got off track for a few weeks, and why.  The thing I am most grateful for right now, at this very moment, is that I can now see when I’m off my path.  I can feel it, and then pull myself back in.  I am not perfect, and in no way do I hope that I ever imply that I am, I am just like anyone else reading this, doing my best to keep my chin up, and my eyes on the prize.

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