I just completed an overnight sleep study and as I was driving home I began to contemplate and meditate on different aspects of my life such as accomplishments, goals, and challenges that lie ahead.

One of my biggest hurdles right now is that I know where I am headed, I can see the steps, but a few of those steps require me to pull the trigger and make some decisions where the only thing that holds me back right now is fear.

One of those decisions is that it is time for me to leave my comfy world at Starbucks.  While Starbucks has provided a great place for learning, growing, and security, it is knowing that I applied that last word, “security,” to one of the most insecure things in life that causes me great distress.  A job has never, nor will it ever be security.  A job is only there for me, when I am there for it.  The moment I cease to be, the moment it ceases to be.  In other words, as long as I remain as healthy as I can be, that job will be there for me.  As long as my superiors continue to appreciate my efforts, that job will be there for me.  But to everything there is a season, and the sun will not always shine, there will come at some point a long hard winter, and maybe a few thunderstorms and eventually my season at Starbucks may change, and I may no longer be the fair headed wunderkind that is looked upon with favor.

I am still grateful for my job, especially in such a time of economic turmoil that has devestated a lot of families.  I pray that this is the economic bottom, and if anything, over the next couple of years we will only plateau, or begin our rise again.  So while I do feel grateful, I also feel a load of guilt for wanting to move on, and not just guilt for wanting to give up the job, but I also feel guilt because I am taking up an opportunity, a blessing for somebody else who maybe wants a career with Vons or Starbucks, while my stay is only temporary.

But in the end, it is those two words that haunt me.  Job security.  It is job security that has stopped people from growing, learning, loving, and living their life’s purpose.  It is job security that has kept people from realizing their life’s dreams.  One of my dearest friends may not have realized the level of success she has experienced, if she had not turned her back on the security of a government job.  That one step in faith, has lead her on a journey around the world.

Me, I have been a victim of my own fears for so long, and I don’t believe getting over a fear can be done by slowly peeking my head out to see if the coast is clear.  The question I must ask my self is, when is NOW the right time?

Stay tuned, this year will be an interesting one.

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